Do you remember being kidless? For me the memories are like those ones from a movie that you watched years ago. You remember who was in the movie and that you liked that movie but the details are pretty fuzzy.
I’m not sure I expected parenthood to be easy. Or maybe I did. Why? Because NOBODY talks about how freaking hard it is. Seriously. They tell you to keep a baby book so you never forget all of those precious things the kid does. But they should tell you to keep a kidfree book of those years before you become a parent. Those are precious memories too.
No I’m not down on this parenting gig. I promise I’m not. But life is different and I’m not much of a liar so I’m not going to say it’s all butterflies and unicorns. Because it’s not. Yes, it has some pretty spectacular moments. And I’m a good mom, a really good mom. so I’m not going to go beating myself up for sometimes thinking back fondly on the way things use to be.
Then and Now
Then: Hey let’s go to a movie tonight.
Now: How many more episodes of Caillou do we need to watch before she falls asleep?
Then: I think I’ll order the filet mignon tonight.
Now: I’ll have a cheeseburger Happy Meal. No onions, no mustard.
Then: Does my butt look ok in these jeans?
Now: Do I have any stickers on my butt?
Then: It’s Friday night we can stay up late and sleep in tomorrow
Now: Holy crap it’s midnight. The kid will be up in six hours wanting to be fed, clothed and paid attention to.
Then: This lamp would look awesome in our living room.
Now: Do you think we can cram this dollhouse between the play kitchen and the princess castle?
Then: That dress would look awesome on me.
Now: That floral print on that dress would hide a lot of sticky crap.
Then: OMG what’s that on the floor? Get some bleach!
Now: Wonder what that is. Smells ok. Let me taste it and see.
Then: Let me slip into something sexy.
Now: No way am I spending 20 minutes squeezing myself into that.
Then: Hey let’s spontaneously go away for the weekend.
Now: Here’s a link to the “weekend getaway” packing spreadsheet I made. The legend is on worksheet 2.
Then: I worked all day and the house is spotless!
Now: I worked all day and made a path to the bathroom!
Then: Can you help me bring these 2 bags of groceries in the house?
Now: 5 grocery bags, a toddler, a purse and a case of diapers. One trip. Myself. Yeah I got this!
Then: Someone needs to teach that mom how to control her brats.
Now: Grocery shopping. Only three tantrums. Win!
Then: Let’s have some “us” time tonight.
Now: I’ll put the kid to bed while you fall asleep on the couch.
Ok your turn. Let’s hear your “Then and Now”!