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Why I Don't Wear A Bikini - Outside The Box

Why I Don’t Wear A Bikini

Why I Don’t Wear A Bikini

Love your body. It’s a message we are being  bombarded with all the time these days. And the spirit in which most people push the message is, for the most part, positive and well intended. It’s personally not a message I embrace, which I’ve written about previously, but I get it. I really do. And when I hear the “love your body” mantra I take it for how I believe it is intended. But it’s one thing to encourage women (or men for that matter) to love what they have and it’s a totally different ball game when you start calling people out for not conforming to your idea of what that means. Because you are making assumptions. You are assuming that the mom at the beach in the t-shirt and shorts is too ashamed of her own body to ditch the modest attire and put on a bikini. But there is a good chance you are wrong.  I don’t wear a bikini. Not to the water park, the pool or the beach. And here’s why:

I’m not comfortable in a bikini

That’s right. I’m not comfortable in a bikini and I never have been. I’m a 43 year old mother. I watch what I eat. I work out consistently. I’m fit. I have very few stretch marks. I’m far from perfect. Very far. But I’m not trying to hide anything. Not being comfortable in a bikini is not something that has come with age or having a child. The truth is, even when I was 21 and everything was toned and tight and as close to perfect as its ever been, I still did’t feel comfortable in a bikini. And it has, or had, nothing to do with how I feel about my body. I simply don’t like the way they look. On me. It really is that simple.

Bikinis just aren’t my style

I currently have two bathing suits  (and a rash guard and board shorts) that I love. They both cost me a small fortune but they were worth every penny. Not only are they great quality but they reflect my style. Bikinis simply aren’t my style. Just like palazzo pants are not my  style.

I hate sunburns

I am a fair skinned, freckle faced redhead. That means I get sun burned very, very easily. Wearing a bikini means I am exposing more skin to get burned. Yes I know – that’s what sunscreen is for. But, quite frankly it’s a pain making sure every millimeter of skin is slathered in SPF 30. And a spot always gets missed.

I am always cold

My five year old is pretty much immune to cold. We can be at the beach and she is waist deep in the water (btw she sometimes wears a bikini) splashing and having the time of her life and I am shivering, hugging myself trying to stay warm. If I can get away with shorts or cropped pants and a t-shirt on those days that are not blazing hot I am happy. I don’t want to be itching to get out of the water and go wrap myself in a warm towel. I want to be comfortable and warm and having fun.

It has no impact on my daughter’s self esteem

News flash – me not wearing a bikini is not sending my daughter the wrong message. She does not see me in my one piece or more coverage than a bikini two piece and think “gee mom must hate her body.” I promise you she doesn’t. And the idea that she might is ridiculous. My little girl sees me buck naked all the time. And not once has she ever heard me talk about my body in a negative way (well except for occasionally cursing my bum knee that I injured in a ski accident). She also sees me work out and take care of this body.  There is no shame going on here. My daughter thinks her mother is beautiful and I certainly don’t try to convince her otherwise.

On second thought it’s none of your business

What you wear to the pool is none of my business. As long as your vagina and nipples are covered (unless of course you are breast feeding in which case carry on) I’m a happy camper. Seriously. What I wear to the pool is also none of your business. And the fact that you feel the need to analyse why or why not I’m wearing a bikini is more a reflection on your own attitudes and self perception than it is on mine. Maybe you had to talk yourself into wearing a bikini. Maybe it was a big deal for you, a journey of self acceptance.  We don’t all that the same story. Most of us actually don’t have a story at all.


This article has 7 comments

  1. Love this post! I've always felt most comfortable in a one piece, especially that my kids pull at my bathing suit and more than once, I've been close to a full reveal! I'll wear two-piece in my own backyard to get some sun, but when it comes to the ocean or pool time, a cute swimsuit is just the thing for me!

  2. I wear appropriate clothes (for me) based on what I'm going to do; bathing suit when I'm going swimming, a bikini when I'm going sun tanning (which is never) and a t-shirt or long sleeved shirt when I'm going to be in the sun. I never really notice what other people are wearing (unless it's in my face and like you, I'm not a fan) and I never thought that other people might notice what I'm wearing. A few times, I've changed my mind and decided to go swimming so I went in with my clothes on. My kids thought that it was the coolest thing and wanted to do the same themselves. Otherwise, if they've ever noticed what I'm wearing (or not wearing), they haven't said anything. I try and teach my kids not to judge others based on many things and clothing choices is one of them.

    Besos Sarah

  3. Good for you Shayna! I love this – why can't we all accept each other for who we are and what we want to wear? I have never liked a bikini (even in my skinny days!) and this has nothing to do with self confidence but more with the fact I want to have no worries in the pool and just enjoy myself. We should never judge someone based on their clothes or appearance.

  4. I wear fitting garments (for me) in light of what I'm going to do; swimsuit when I'm going swimming, a two-piece when I'm going sun tanning (which is never) and a shirt or since quite a while ago sleeved shirt when will be in the sun. I never truly see what other individuals are wearing (unless it's in my face and like you, I'm not a fan) and I never imagined that other individuals may see what I'm wearing. A couple times, I've altered my opinion and chose to go swimming so I ran in with my garments on. My children felt that it was the coolest thing and needed to do likewise themselves. Something else, on the off chance that they've ever seen what I'm wearing (or not wearing), they haven't said anything. I make an effort not to judge others in view of numerous things and garments decisions is one of them. Thanks

  5. I know this is an old post, but I had to comment. I love this post. I hate the thought of wearing a bikini, and while yes some of it does have to do with body acceptance, most of it has to do with just not being comfortable in one. I also don’t like wearing low cut tops, or short skirts. It has nothing to do with how I look in them (I actually look awesome in low cut tops), but I’m just not comfortable exposing that much of my skin. I don’t judge those who do, and hopefully they don’t judge me.

  6. You don’t wear a bikini because of your flubbery mid section. But that’s okay, not many of us have a taut tummy in our early 50’s, youre not alone.

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